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Jokes

The leprechaun

A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer’s ball beside him.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.

“Arrgh! What happened?” the Leprechaun asked.

“I’m afraid I hit you with my golf ball,” the golfer says.

“Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square.Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?”

“Thank God, you’re all right!” the golfer answers in relief. “I don’t want anything, I’m just glad you’re OK, and I apologise.”

And the golfer walks off.

“What a nice guy,” the Leprechaun says to himself.

“I have to do something for him. I’ll give him the three things I would want… A great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.”

A year goes by and the golfer is back.

On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

“‘Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,” the little guy says. “I just want to ask ye, how’s yer golf game?”

“My game is fantastic!” the golfer answers.”I’m an internationally famous golfer now.” He adds, “By the way, it’s good to see you’re all right.”

“Oh, I’m fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how’s yer money situation?”

“Why, it’s just wonderful!” the golfer states.”When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out E100 bills I didn’t even know were there!”

“I did that fer ye also. And tell me, how’s yer sex life?”

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, “It’s OK.”

“C’mon, c’mon now,” urged the Leprechaun, “I’m wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?”

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, “Once, sometimes twice a week.”

“What?” responds the Leprechaun in shock. “That’s all? Only once or twice a week?”

“Well,” says the golfer, “I figure that’s not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.”

By Richard Fellner

Winner of multiple Australian Golf Media Awards – including "Best Column" for his monthly Starters Box column as Editor for Inside Golf Magazine – Richard Fellner is the quintessential Golf Tragic—having played the game for over 40 years (but has never gotten any better.) He has played and reviewed courses all over the world, and has interviewed many of the great players of the game (including Jack Nicklaus, Tom Watson and Greg Norman). Richard is a member of both the Australian Golf Writers Association and the Golf Society of Australia, and he is a regular guest on many Australian "sports talk" radio shows and networks, including ABC Grandstand, SEN 1116, Melbourne Talk Radio 1377, 2GB and others.

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