FORE.com.auThe greatest golf jokes ever
A man was addressing the ball when an announcement came over the loudspeaker: “Will the gentleman on hole number one please not hit from the Ladies’ tee box.” The man backs away, a little distracted, then approaches his ball again. As he does, the same announcement comes over the loud-speaker: “Will the gentleman on hole […]
James and his friend Tom were playing a round of golf with their wives early on a Sunday. It was a four ball, better ball format with a little bit of cash on the line. James stood on the 10th tee having hooked his previous three tee shots, and to no one’s surprise he hooked his drive again. When he […]
Two golfers are ready to play on the 11th tee as a funeral cortege passes by. The first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows his head as the cortege passes. “That was a really nice thing to do,” the second golfer says. “It’s good to see there is still some respect in the world.” “Well, […]
A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer’s ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him. […]
Wayne was teeing off from the men’s tee. On his downswing, he realised that his wife was teeing up on the woman’s tee directly in front of him. Unable to stop his swing, he nailed it, and hit her directly in the head, killing her instantly. A few days later, Wayne got a call from […]
David Feherty is a CBS and Golf Channel announcer, who finds very nique, colourful and uninhibited ways of explaining or describing whatever is on his mind … Some Feherty Quotes: “It would be easier to pick a broken nose, than a winner in that group.” “Fortunately, Rory is 22 years old so his right wrist […]
A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table,took his wife’s hand in his and said, “Beth , soon we will be married 30 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?” Beth replied, “Well Charles, I […]
A man decided to retire… He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life. That is, until the ship sank. He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach […]
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes.”Boy,I’d give anything to sink this putt”, the golfer mumbles to himself. Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, “Would you be willing to give up a quarter of your sex life to sink the […]
Tiger Woods & Stevie Wonder are in a bar… Tiger says Stevie, “How’s the singing career going?” Stevie replies, “Not too bad. How’s the golf?” Woods replies, “I’ve had some problems with my swing, but I think I’ve got that right, now.” Stevie: “I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to […]
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman […]
A man goes to the confessional. “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.” “What is your sin, my son?” the priest asks back. “Well,” the man starts, “I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible.” “When did you use this awful language?” asks the priest. “Well, I was golfing and hit an […]
